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Feb 182018

Ok.. so I type this as a user of an iPad and iPhone.. reluctant user but user none the less…

I have no beef with monopolies or capitalist corporations, I’m trying to create these myself. I love flashy cars, nice holidays, big houses etc.. But never at the expense of the greater good that i can do.. I’m lucky though,I know this because as I have various sources of corroboration, and so I talk sense, practical sense and thus still believe that the Uk is better out of Europe, fighting its own battles, and drawing on the immense resilience people that England and the UK have….

The reason for this message is to try help the millions of people out there who think we have a problem (48% in the 2016 referendum), I’m saying that we only have a problem unless the understand the ideology is flawed.

The EU is corporation. If I worked for that corporation, and my wages depended on them, and my pension relied on their future existence, clearly I would have voted remain. The reality is though is that I’m like almost everyone I know, we work for “Fred Ltd” or whatever. We are not big corporates. The UK is a nation of small businesses.

So, yes I want out of the EU, because ‘they’ seem to only protect who they want to protect. (Their own existence)

I need ( for the sake of my business, my employees and for the future of my current and prospective employees) a level of business security in terms of taxation, regulations and employment law.. All of which can only be better if locally managed, closer to home than Brussels or Strasbourg

I started this message by saying I don’t like apple products, but here I am using them.. what I do like about apple as a company though is their capitalist approach, i.e billions in the bank, mainly made from their socialist subscribers!


Surely the Conservative party should have thought about this approach to the electorate? (at least by now) Oh, hang on Tony Blair did this already.

Nick Collinson

 Posted by at 2:11 am

Edinburgh Fringe Jokes 2016

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Aug 082016

1. “My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart.” Masai Graham

2. “Why is it old people say ‘there’s no place like home’, yet when you put them in one …” Stuart Mitchell

3. “I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10.” Mark Watson

4. “Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.” Mark Smith

5. “I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn’t much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer … came second.” Will Duggan

6. “Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” Tiff Stevenson

7. “I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words.” Gary Delaney

8. “Why is Henry’s wife covered in tooth marks? Because he’s Tudor.” Adele Cliff

9. “Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?” Annie McGrath

10. “Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.” Jordan Brookes

11. “Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be president, as long as your husband did it first.” Michelle Wolf

12. “I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound.” Roger Swift

13. “Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.” Arthur Smith

14. “I’ll tell you what’s unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses.” Zoe Lyons

15. “Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word.” Phil Nicol

 Posted by at 1:20 pm

Best Jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe 2015

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Aug 262015

1: “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free” – Darren Walsh

2: “Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West” – Stewart Francis

3: “Surely every car is a people carrier?” – Adam Hess

4: “What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter” – Masai Graham

5: “If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go” – Dave Green

6: “Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas” – Mark Nelson

7: “Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day” – Tom Parry

=8: “The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves” – Alun Cochrane

=8: “Clowns divorce. Custardy battle” – Simon Munnery

10: “They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for…” – Grace The Child


My personal favourite is number 7…

 Posted by at 1:50 pm

The Ralph Collection

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Jul 262015
 Posted by at 4:33 pm

Top 10 Jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe 2014

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Aug 242014

1) “I’ve decided to sell my hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.”
Tim Vine

2) “I’ve written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn’t fit it into my set.”
Masai Graham

3) “Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief.”
Mark Watson

4) “I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn’t work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s.”
Bec Hill

5) “I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn’t let me.”
Ria Lina

6) “Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal.”
Paul F Taylor

7) “Scotland had oil, but it’s running out thanks to all that deep frying.”
Scott Capurro

=8) “I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame ’cause halfway through he disappears up his own a——-.”
Kevin Day

=8) I’ve been married for 10 years, I haven’t made a decision for seven.”
Jason Cook

10) “This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it.”
Felicity Ward

 Posted by at 4:41 pm

2014 resolution… Write more blog entries…

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Jan 082014

OK – it’s the 8th of January and I haven’t yet done this, but last year took the whole purpose away from doing this kind of thing – I have noted already on this blog that the 2nd half of 2013 was bad for me, and I’m not going to expand on that now – however 2014 seems to be filled with the optimism that each new year deserves – in spite of the horrible weather! Rain, Rain, Rain and then Wind with Rain mixed in…

In better news, Ralph has arrived and is likely to be heavily featured from here on – so if you don’t like dogs… Unsubscribe!

Here are a couple of his first pictures from the last 10 days that we’ve had him…

WP_20140104_004 WP_20140101_003 WP_20131229_007 (1)

 Posted by at 2:29 am

Edinburgh Fringe top 10 Jokes

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Aug 212013

Here are the top 10 fringe jokes – my favourite this year is number 1


• 1. Rob Auton – “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”

• 2. Alex Horne – “I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.”

• 3. Alfie Moore – “I’m in a same-sex marriage… the sex is always the same.”

• 4. Tim Vine – “My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him ‘Don’t be Sicily’.”

• 5. Gary Delaney – “I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.”

• 6. Phil Wang – “The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.”

• 7. Marcus Brigstocke – “You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.”

• 8. Liam Williams – “The universe implodes. No matter.”

• 9. Bobby Mair – “I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.”

• 10. Chris Coltrane – “The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.”

 Posted by at 12:00 am

Birthday weekend in Bath…

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May 162013


Had a great weekend I  Bristol/Bath – the weather wasn’t great, but we had fun in spite of it. Went to the Spa and then visited the roman baths


Champagne and strawberries on Saturday and Sunday!

 Posted by at 10:20 pm